The Healing Power of Human Touch: Why Every (Hu)Man Needs a Good Hug
- Soul Journey
- Nov 12
- 4 min read
There’s something disarming about a genuine hug. It’s simple, human, and yet—somehow—it reaches into places that words never could.
Years ago, while deployed in Iraq, I discovered this truth in an unlikely setting. It was August, blistering hot, and I’d just returned from a brief trip home to witness the birth of our daughter. Two days later, I was back in uniform doing what soldiers do.
I walked into a small makeshift barbershop to get my head shaved—something I could easily have done myself. But something inside nudged me to take a seat and let someone else do it. The man cutting my hair didn’t speak English or Arabic, the only two languages I knew. There was no small talk, no explanation needed. Just a shared human moment.
He shaved my head, massaged my scalp, applied a bit of oil, and finished by resting his hand gently on my head for several minutes. It was nothing romantic or ceremonial—just presence, connection, and care. And I’ll never forget it.
That day, I realized how profoundly human touch shapes our well-being. In that moment of stillness, in the middle of a war zone, I felt more human than I had in weeks.
We Are Wired for Touch
From the moment we’re born, touch is how we learn safety and belonging. It lowers cortisol (the stress hormone), releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone), and regulates heart rate and blood pressure.
Yet many men today live in what could be called a “low-touch” world. We shake hands, fist bump, or offer a brief pat on the back, but rarely experience sustained, caring physical contact outside of romantic relationships.
Even within marriage or family life, modern schedules, emotional stress, and unspoken boundaries often reduce the amount of touch we both give and receive. When that happens, the nervous system starts to crave what it once considered normal.
Touch is nourishment. Without it, the emotional body starves.
Conditioning the Body and Mind to Receive Touch
If you’ve gone a long time without meaningful touch, your body can become touch-starved. That’s not just poetic language—it’s a neurological reality.
The skin, our largest organ, is full of sensory receptors that communicate safety or danger. When we’re not touched regularly, those receptors become hypersensitive. That means when touch finally does come—through a massage, hug, or gentle pat—it can feel overwhelming or even confusing.
This is why reconditioning your body to receive touch takes mindfulness. Start slow.
Self-contact: Place a hand on your chest or heart for a few breaths each morning. Feel your own warmth and grounding.
Nature contact: Let sun, wind, and water meet your skin. Nature has its own way of reminding the body it belongs here.
Gentle grooming: A visit to a barbershop, salon, or even a pedicure can begin the process of reintroducing safe human contact.
As the body relearns safety through touch, the nervous system begins to soften. Emotional resilience, compassion, and self-trust all increase in response.
Touch and the Pandemic: The Silent Deprivation
During the global shutdown, I was working as a mobile massage therapist. My clients came from every demographic—young professionals, retirees, couples, widows, and veterans. When the world closed down, I started receiving messages:
“Put me on your calendar for the first day we’re allowed again.”
They weren’t desperate for luxury. They were longing for touch.
For some of these clients, I was the only person who physically touched them for months. It wasn’t a man thing or a woman thing. It was a human thing.
We all need to be reminded—through safe, intentional, and grounded contact—that we’re not alone.
Creating Healthy Pathways for Touch
If you’re not in a high-touch relationship or find yourself craving connection, there are ways to honor that need safely and respectfully:
Professional massage therapy – Look for licensed therapists (MM45205) who understand both physical and energetic boundaries.
Barbers, stylists, and estheticians – These professions often provide socially acceptable, nurturing forms of touch.
Community spaces – Men’s groups, yoga classes, or mindfulness circles can include nonverbal connection through presence, handshakes, or supportive posture work.
Intentional hugs – When shared with clear consent and grounded energy, a simple embrace can be deeply restorative.
The key is mindfulness and mutual respect. Touch without awareness can confuse the senses or cross emotional boundaries. But touch with presence can awaken the soul.
The Soul Journey of Touch
Healthy touch is more than skin-deep—it’s a spiritual reminder of our shared humanity. It says, You exist. You matter. You are safe here.
Whether it’s a barber’s hand on your head in Iraq, a partner’s embrace, or a friend’s steady palm on your shoulder, each act of touch carries sacred potential.
We are not meant to go through life untouched.
So yes, brother—I do appreciate a good hug. And in this moment, I offer one back: a felt, grounded, soul-level hug that says we’re in this together.
